i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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