I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
