I am puke
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize