Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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