she woke up with a sticky ear
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
