The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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