just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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