I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
