i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
i think i just lost a toe
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