He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just blew my weed a kiss
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
