Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
