Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
