That's when you crack a 10am beer
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
