guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
