Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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