Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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