I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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