But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
