haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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