I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Dear god my vagina.
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