Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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