Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
