did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
