Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
...so i touched it.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
the liver wants what the liver wants
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
