i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
