i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
