Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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