what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
