you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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