I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize