I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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