Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
