Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
