we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
