let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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