Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
