i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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