Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
