I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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