Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
