shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
