omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
