be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
