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If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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