Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
