Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
