You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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