It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
