i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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