Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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