Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize