She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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