did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
