I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
