I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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