she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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