Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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