Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
