i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
