honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
